The world most exclusive club?

The world of golf was shaken to its core yesterday when Prescott Bullnose, a prominent businessman from Raleigh NC, announced that he would quit the famous Augusta National Golf Club on the pretext that “he was fed up with the sadistic juxtaposition of blooming magnolias and slippery bentgrass greens”.  Members also recalled that he had complained repeatedly about the sour béchamel sauce in the eggs Benedict served at the club restaurant, and about the lack of response from the chef who famously cracked that he “answered to higher authorities”.

Lamartine Talmadge, the acting club president and mayor of nearby Lumenville, didn’t mince his words: ”Nobody walks away like that from the greatest golf club in the world! Nobody! All y’all mark my words, that dog won’t hunt! Now, I declare we will teach this man a lesson!”

Whereupon Talmadge mentally added the money that he could shake from Bullnose, his share of the next three years of clubhouse maintenance, the projected redesign of the eight, tenth and thirteenth holes, the expansion of the press room and the resurfacing of Route 28 from the Berckmans intersection:” no less than $1 million he owes us, no less!”

“Darn it…God!” The mayor howled in pain; he had smacked his hand on his desk and pierced his palm with a brass tack.  That got him angrier still:” Nobody skedaddles out of this club to live the happy life, and least of all this high cotton feller!  No siree, he ain’t gonna grin like a possum eatin’ a sweet tater when I’m done with him.”

Now, there is no Prescott Bullnose at Augusta National, the béchamel there is likely superb, and even if it were not, surely, it is most unlikely that it would cause a member to walk out from one of the world’s most sought after golf clubs.  A switch to pancakes or waffles would make more sense.  

Save for personal or financial reasons, nobody quits great clubs, unless these clubs fail massively in the services offered.  There is no need to threaten retribution for exiting members as many more applicants are waiting to get in, possibly willing to pay higher fees for the privilege.    

So when the UK decides to exit the European Union whose member countries then try their hardest to make that exit as painful as possible, and when the president of the European Commission behaves badly with the UK prime minister, alarm bells should be ringing.

A small majority of Britons judged that membership in the EU carried no net benefit.  A large minority of Dutch and French people agree.  Indeed, pro-Europe candidate Emmanuel Macron recently declared that, if elected, reforming the Union would be one of his priorities and that failure to do so could trigger Frexit (exit by France).

Club Europe is in crisis.  As often in such circumstances, the reaction from the top is denial, fear and punishment of the critics.  No doubt that one more exit from the EU by a core member would be lethal.  Change is as inevitable as it is necessary.  Would it entail a “two-speed” structure?  A more decentralized government?  Effective enforceability of sanctions against non-conforming members?

There is time to reflect on all of this.  EU members must also realize that the UK could counter their excessive demands by threatening to simply break away and rely on WTO provisions; this would be even more damaging to their goals of keeping everybody in line.

Pressure is mounting.  The clubhouse is growing restive.  Core member France might well be the ideal one to promote domestic as well as union-wide reforms, offering to reduce spending in exchange for Germany to move in the opposite direction.   2017 will be interesting.